THIS WEEKS FINES
DIVISION 1
DIVISION 2
DS 20K
FINE: FORMATION ERROR
TJ 20K
FINE: FORMATION ERROR
DIVISION 3
FA 20K FINE. TRIED TO FIELD 4 AM
DV 20K FINE. TRIED TO FIELD 4 AS
CUT PLAYERS
TB FB U. Sam nsl 6.5 31 yo
SH GK P. Jones 8.50 - 33 yo.
DV
CF P. Eleutherus-I
DV
AS A. Manetti
EW
DM N. Kalahari nsl
7.00 age 30
EW DM A. StephanJr
nsl 7.00 age 33
EW S B. Eerput nsl 5.50 age 29
EW S B. Fabian nsl
7.00 age 27
PURCHASES FROM THE DRAFT
TRADES
JG sends FA
24 CM 9
FA sends JG
26 S 9.75 W. Walsh
TS sends DV:
AS C. Palmer NSL 10 age 29
DV sends TS
S T. Telesphorus-I age 21 NSL 8
MF S. Leon age 30 NSL 7
100k
PRESS REPORT
DIVISION 1
Alcohol Anonymous
ORANGE BOYS
LOOK TO TAKE ALL THE JUICE OF SAEFL BY SQUEEZING COMMY FOR ALL HE’S GOT!
In a exclusive leak to the Chemical Chronicle, a paper given to SAEFL commy Peter Babcock suggests that there is a secret plan, hatched by managers of a certain nationality, to sew up all the awards between them this season.
In a letter signed by Bart, Martijn, Jeroen, Otto, Wouter, it was suggested that all future games in SAEFL should be rigged to ensure that all prizes – from the league championships to manager of the season, and all the way down to cleanest changing room – are handed over to Dutch managers.
In exchange, the letter promises that compromising pictures of Peter with ‘interesting’ wigs would be kept away from the public glare.
To help out with the plan, the 5 managers suggested that all the dutch bosses be given 10 grudges a piece, which would be used against any other manager that dare get in their way – with the number 1 target being the AA gaffer.
When confronted with the evidence, the bosses from orangeland had the following to say:
Wouter: “eer, I deny all knowledge of this piece of trash. Even with all those grudges I’d still struggle to win games”.
Otto: “Look, don’t get me involved with this rubbish. I need to spend more time on my rubbish club logo”.
Martijn: “Pah! Try and win all the leagues. If only
Jeroen (unavailable due to too much time removing the bugs from DESL J)
Bart: “4%£%£%£!!! Drink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
As well as pummelling AA with grudges instead of relying on the quality of their sides, it is also suggested that Peter should start the AA side’s players with only 1 SP each – while the dutch teams have unlimited SP.
Another suggestion is that JG and co should have 100 NSL keepers. Just in case.
Its been reported that Dutch managers and the Commish have a meeting next week, where brown paper bags will be transferred to conclude the deal.
AA await a reply to this disgraceful cover-up. The future of SAEFL is at stake.
AA FEEL THE FORCE, AS ALTERCAPIO AND CO RISE TO THE CHALLENGE
It’s been a tough time for SAEFL over the last couple seasons. Club restructuring always takes time; but in AA’s case, it has taken an eternity – much to the concern of the team’s fans, who must be wondering if silverware will ever again grace the pitch at The Pub.
Well, although there are no certainties in the world
of this EFL, the Alcies have given themselves every
chance of a brighter tomorrow, if progress on the training ground is anything
to go by. Club manager Foss reveals all:
“I have been really impressed by the overall
performance of my players on the training pitch this week. Although performances on the pitch have been
good this term, I have been somewhat alarmed by the lack of quality at the club
overall. Things seem to be changing now
for the better.
Of the 40 players I have at my disposal, 32 showed
signs of improvement – and that has to be a good thing. Only 4 players seemed to look tired after the
exertions of the season to date.”
Foss singled out his DS for particular praise, with Altercapio and SylfarJr
looking in particularly good form.
The other defensive positions have also been shored
up, with C. Davenport, G. Gurirab, B.
Harkonnen, F. Ball, E. McHale and J.
Edinburgh benefiting from the mid season break.
The midfield is another area where the team seems to
have got better. W. IldRomance, A. Hleb, N. Mirza, B.
As , R. Holt, F. Mint, O. Pulmao,
A. Jardim and J. Skoko,
although not quite at the point that the manager would ideally like, are a much
stronger unit.
In goal, L. deCarpolini
has got to the point where he is an able deputy for S. Collis.
Up front, it has been a mixed bag for the club. But one man that all defences must be wary of
from now on is winger M. Essien (if he can
stay on the park!)
With a raft of even younger players also showing
improvement, fans should notice a positive up-turn in club fortunes over the
next season or two.
But club manager Foss says that AA will not look to
keep what it has:
"AA are always on the
look-out to trade. Whether that makes
the club stronger, or weaker, time will tell - but there are positions that we
need to improve our depth and quality - and that will happen over the next few
weeks".
One position that the manager is looking at is
centre-back, with only two recognised players on the books. DS is also a position that Foss is
considering, as he looks at the TS tactic down the line.
COMING NEXT WEEK - WHO HAS BEEN THE BEST
GOALKEEPER TO GRACE SAEFL? YOU
DECIDE
Apocalypse
Catbel Athletic
Excelsior
From the
Excelsior Herald...
A grim day
for the faithful. Just as it seemd that ageing could not get much worse at
After the first open training session
following ageing the bookies closed the book on bets for Excelsior to go down
this season. If Bracegirdle keeps this lot up, then he truly will be the
Houdini of elctronic football management.
F.C Inferno
InterQuartile Rangers
A win is a win.
The refs might have helped with the 2 red cards, but it still
counts. WH Robinho
was impressive shooting 100% on 4 shots!
CF Wambach was also impressive shooting 66% in
a non bonus position.
With mid-season aging we try a definsive
tactic again. It may mess up the
expected CP from NW.
Because of mid-season aging there's little point in
doing the stats for this week.
LU can`t win :(
NoShaKi WC98
The Boelewieten
The Jazz Greats
Tottenford Heats
DIVISION 2
Adirondak Renegades
Adirondak
press (AP): So, how about a midseason progress report?
Manager
Fulmer (MF): Sure, I love to aimlessly ramble.
AP: OK, why
don't you start in the back and ramble your way forward.
MF: Sure,
that lets me start with one of the positions where progress has been excellent,
GK. 21 yo W Evans and 23 yo
M Jardim have made outstanding progress, better than
expected. Current #1 Hird's form has slipped a bit,
so the 2 young guys are going to get most if not all of the time in the nets
the second half. While neither of them is where they need to be, I think it
will be great getting them some experience for next season.
AP:
Speaking of next season, isn't that the season you plan on getting promoted to
Div 1?
MF: Hey,
you listen when I talk. When I took over AR, they were in pretty sad shape. The
rebuilding plan aimed at season 12. We are on track,
hopefully we can take the last step and have a strong team next season.
AP:
Improving a very weak defense has been your focus
recently. How has than progressed?
MF: There
has been solid progress in this group. Two individuals have stood out. 22 yo DS R Hulman, recently
purchased from the transfer list, is progressing at an outstanding rate. He
will get some playing time the second half, especially when we use defensive
tactics. We expect him to be a mainstay in our defense
beginning next season and hopefully lasting for a long time. The next best
progress has been shown by 27 yo CB C Smith. He has
been with us for awhile as a project and our patience is paying off. His
progress has actually been accelerating, and he is now one of our top 3-4
defenders.
AP:
Disappointments?
MF: Neethling does not appear to be the rock we can build our defense on. While still one of our top defenders, it looks
like the gamble we took trading for him is not going to wor
out.
AP: Do you
see this as a serious problem?
MF: No. We
have been acquiring a lot of young players for quite some time. This trade, and
the one to bring in MF H Ellraiser cost us a couple
of promising players, but I think we have enough depth to adsorb those losses.
AP: How
about the midfield?
MF: :)
MF:
Midfield if the heart of our team and the progress has been excellent. 23 yo AM
AP: How
about the other midfield positios besides AM?.
MF: We are
very solid here. MF H Ellraiser is going to be the
force in midfield we had hoped for when we got him to replace Pulmao. DM Albers is also very strong will be a cornerstone
when we play defensive tactics. Recently acquired CM Vanderwhatever
has made excellent progress. He will now be an important member of our
rotation, which is ahead of what we had hoped. The WH position is solid, if not
spectacular, with 22 yo Itternik
and 21 yo Kertez
progressing nicely.
AP: While
midfield is the heart of AR, you do need someone strong up top. How is that
area progressing?
MF: We are
progressing, but it the area of greatest concern. We have acquired several
promising young attackers over the last season or so. While they are all
improving, no one stands out. We need someone to step up and take over the
position soon or we will have to look at bringing in a player from outside.
AP: So the
future looks bright?
MF: Looks
is correct. Progress this season has actually been better than we expected.
However, looks is the key word. We are not where we need to be yet. I think we
have enough depth of young talent to overcome some development problems, but
time will tell.
African Selection
I hope you
all had a great time looking at your new teams.....Mine sucks.
Dead Scientists
Druss Legends
Englehart Storm
Grammar United
Melchester Rovers
Well last week was a bit of a disappointment. We had a grudge played against us so it was
no big surprise that we ended up losing.
The biggest disappointment is that now we are in the relegation
zone. Last season we were about to be
promoted to Division 1 and now this season we are close to relegation. I do not have any idea what happened to our
team between the two seasons because my team's NSL and EMP had not changed
much. For whatever reason, we are just
losing this season. Out of 14 games, we
have only won 2 and tied 5- it is just not very good.
As for our aging, it was not very good to us. The average NSL of our team went up very
slightly but our best eleven's NSL went down, which is not good. Well now I guess that our team goal has to
change to not getting relegated and hopefully at least making it into the
playoffs. To do this, we need to start
winning more than just a couple of games and getting some points so we can move
up in the standings. This week we play
NH again and who knows if they are going to play a grudge so hopefully our
winning will start this week.
Stannington Historical
SH had a reasonably good aging this time with many
increases but is it enough to get us going was the question being asked by many
observers of the SH squad. SH Manager Lear commented,"We
took a big risk this season with the way we structured our squad by loading up
on Kiddie Corp players. Aging was good for us but not
as good as expected.
Realistically speaking, we should win a couple of
matches this half of the season but it looks as if we are in D-3 next season
due to our youth aging a bit slower than anticipated. "
The brakes
are off on our dealing. The following
players are being put on the market for trade and/or cash.
GK S. Nake -
6.50 - 27 yo. .
DS R, Dippenaar - 8.75 - 25 yo
WH T. Dinning - 8.00 - 21 yo.
WH S. Chuveininho
- 8.75 - 27 yo.
WH
K. Illbill - 9.75 - 27 yo. - will trade him for equivalent S or CB ***Am looking
for CB, CM, MF, S
The Jazz
TJ played
at home in front of 26,000 and draw 0-0 with GU, both teams did not get a shot
on goal. So with the return fixture this week TJ will try a more attacking line
up to try to get all 3 points, away from home this week.After
3 draws and 1 win out of the the last four games TJ
need to pick up a win. Three of TJ older players have decided to hang up they
boots at the end of the season.
GK M Mouse
who has played 58 games,
MF T Thing played 47 games and scored 25 goals both a young 33
W T Beano
who played 96 games scored 115 goals and a career total of 101 games and 117
goals and has reached 35.
We are now half way through this seasons
and TJ if they keep playing well and fight hard we be hopwfully
be in at least the play off, but as we are aware, football is a funny old
game and any thing can happen.
DIVISION 3
Half way
point
At the half
way point of the season,
Mid season
aging took place also last week and here are the manager's thoughts.
"It
was kinda dissappointing
that CB H. Life announced he will be retiring at the end of the season but on
the other hand it increased his rating to give some more help at the back. The net affect across the whole squad though
was about 0 as players went up, others went down and some just stayed as they
were. Looks like we need some help in
the Gk'ing department though as our 2 main keepers both
dropped, though our youngest one increased.
He is still a couple of seasons away from playing though."
"We
will be trying to make the second half a bit better in the league than the
first and will need to buy or trade some players to do it but I am looking
positive that we will be okay in the long run."
There you
have it, things don't look as bad as they did a couple of weeks ago and let's
hope that the second half is better than the first.
Keep on
kicking!
Stephanie
Burrows
Aros VSK
Blue Storm FC
Couch Banfiled, looking forward to see how the team performs
after aging and back up against AK.
See you in
the stands.
Defrosted TunaFish
Deo Volente
Falcons
Damn! Played the
correct tactic and played the grudge card and still didn't get the result. The
team wasn't strong enough. Aging has been kind to my goal keeper so we should
be able to concede a few less goals this time around.
Fanatics United
Happy and
second, everyone pick on DT now.
Stay cool, I'm on holiday until the fourth week of this half, so
hope the team performs well with the ass-manager.
Don't worry
I will be phoning in every now and then, but thats only when the many woman over here on this
inland leave me alone.
Wish you were
not here, and happy that you are not.
Brian FU
Fantastic eleven
Smoking Guns
It's good to be back. Hopefully I can get Smoking Guns off to a good
start.
Speedsters
Trav Spoodle
My
goalkeeper is so damn tired he's hardly standin up in
the goal mouth.
Vitesse Arnhem