THIS WEEKS FINES

 

DIVISION 1

NW 20k Fine. Cannot find this player (sub). FB T. Comelisse

AA 20k Fine. This player cannot play (inj/susp) (sub). FB J. Edinburgh

GU 20k Fine. Cannot find this player. DS B. Brant – Was sold last week

GU 20k Fine. This player cannot play (inj/susp). S B. GazaJr

DIVISION 2

ES 20k Fine. Cannot find this player. DS M. Villias

ES 20k Fine. Cannot find this player. DS S. Mcllroy

DS 20k Fine. This player cannot play (inj/susp). FB L. Neill

DIVISION 3

 

CUT PLAYERS

EU AS  K. Midos

EU CM  Z. Zidane

EU WH  J. Pennant

EU AM  P. Mendes

EU S  L. Saha

PURCHASES FROM THE DRAFT

 

SH FB Kampala 8.5  29  bid 75,000 (From TH_

TRADES

 

 

PRESS REPORT

DIVISION 1

Alcohol Anonymous

 

Apocalypse

 

Catbel Athletic

 

Druss Legends

Damned, I'will have to win this one :)

F.C Inferno

Time to face all mighty JG in the league. I don't think we got enough power to beat then in an away game... Thus, the SM, pretty offensive, trying to close the gap... Let's wait and see, while we rest some players!

Grammar United

 

InterQuartile Rangers

Some times, SAEFL comse close to real soccer.  A 0-0 draw.  It's a fair result.  IQ is a close match to FI.  So I can't complain about the result.

 I don't appear to be in danger of relegation, yet.  So the point helps maintain the status quo which is fine with me.

 

 

Here are the Div 1 stats:

TEAMS

NSL avg

EMP avg

EMP/NSL

max NSL

min NSL

max EMP

min EMP

Diff NSL

Diff EMP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AA

96.87

132.24

1.37

98.75

94

138.08

115.57

4.75

22.51

AP

97.9

124.44

1.27

101.5

78.75

141.97

87.19

22.75

54.78

CA

94.42

124.3

1.32

97.75

80

144.11

95.71

17.75

48.4

EW

94.05

124.49

1.32

96

89.75

140.31

108.15

6.25

32.16

FI

93.73

124.82

1.33

96.75

89.25

136.16

107.91

7.5

28.25

IQ

92.42

118.79

1.29

96.25

79.27

131.27

101.76

16.98

29.51

JG

98.63

134.02

1.36

103

91

167.15

116.15

12

51

LU

96.3

122.67

1.27

99.25

93.25

146.21

100.2

6

46.01

NW

91.61

115.68

1.26

94.25

85

130.13

97.26

9.25

32.87

OC

96.18

129.52

1.35

100.25

89.25

145.22

114.43

11

30.79

TB

92.5

116.45

1.26

98

87

139.75

95.26

11

44.49

TH

94.15

130.76

1.39

96.75

89.75

140.52

118.08

7

22.44

 

94.9

124.85

1.32

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NoShaKi WC98

A somewhat shocking turn of events occurred this week.  Several years after stepping down as manager of Catbel Athletic and drifting off into retirement on the sunny beaches of Costa Rica, manager Vince Scimeca resurfaced this week as manager of NoShaKi WC98.  "I recall the battles Catbel Athletic had against MW and I always carried a deep respect for their club.  When an opening to manage them came it was too good of an offer to turn down." said Scimeca.  "My first priority is to stay clear of the relegation zone and then to create a professional atmosphere at the club focused toward excellence."  "I look forward to facing some of the great managers like Nathan and Bart

who I have the utmost   respect for."

 

The Boelewieten

I never drink again when I lose this game, I never watch women losing this game, I never will have sex losing this game,

and when I lose, I will never write smartass press again, never.

The Jazz

 

The Jazz Greats

 

Tottenford Heats

 

DIVISION 2

Adirondak Renegades

Adrirondak Press (AP): Congratulations on another victory, and a bit of luck to go with it.

 

Manager Fulmer (MF): More than a bit of luck, as PN and EW both drew. The five point lead is nice, and I think it will be needed as we play LU and EW the next two weeks.

 

AP: It seems if all goes well you can open a very nice lead and become hard to catch. On the other hand

 

MF: Lets not talk about the other possibilities.

 

AP: OK. Lets talk about a very major trade BW made this week, bring in star DS B Brandt. Actually I should say bringing back star DS Brandt.

 

MF: Lets talk about bringing him in and not the back part. I have nothing to say about the idiot that traded him away other than this idiot has been dealt with.

 

AP: You gave up a lot to get Brandt. Was this a move designed to lock up the title?

 

MF: Bringing in Brandt obviously helps this season, but to tell the truth this move is more about the future, especially next season. Brandt is obsiously an outstanding player on the rise, but he is also a strong leader. This will be important as our current captains, Mitreski and Vanderwhatever's skills are dropping and it appears they will be out of the rotation next season. Brandt, at age 25 with still improving skills, should be a strong leader for BW for a long time.

 

AP: Unless you trade him again.

 

MF: Bye.

Dead Scientists

 

Defrosted TunaFish

 

Deo Volente

 

England U-21

 

Englehart Storm

 

Excelsior Warren

 

Fanatics United

 

Lisbon United

 

Newton Heath

 

Oaklake City

 

Port of Napier AFC

 

 

DIVISION 3

Adelaide Kickers

New Press Reporter Required.

 

This week our sports reporter, Stephanie Burrows, resigned after comments

made by Kickers manager, David Thomas, following last week's report and

match.  It is believed the two exchanged heated words which culminated in

Stephanie spraying mace into David's eyes before drawing a kitchen knife. 

Stephanie was quickly tackled to the ground by Kickers FB Pavel Schurovnik

after he heard the commotion.

 

Stephanie was apprehended and taken away by police where she was

questioned.  She rang this newspaper and announced her resignation before

being taken away and locked up.  She is due to appear in court in 3 weeks.

 

Manager Thomas was okay and sustained no injury except for the mace, but

thankfully only a very minute amount actually went into his eye because of

being shielded by his arm.

 

All serious applications will be considered for this position, and we would

rather someone who knew something about the League, the Team and football

in general.  That way they can report without having to do interviews all

the time.

 

Norma Sjuggs

Senior Editor, Adelaide Advertiser

African Selection

Last week's match resulted in a good win for the Selects over the Kickers.

We have now moved up into a playoff spot with one of the best defenses in the league.

 

It is pretty tight race as there are 6 teams vying for the 4 playoff positions. This week we visit Melchester who have really turned it around this season. Hats off to them!

 

We expect them to play their WP team, so we are sending out the top defence in a measure to counter their offense. Hopefully we don't let a lot of shots through.

 

Cheers.

Colin

Aros VSK

 

Blue Storm FC

 

Falcons

We rest this week as we see there is no way we would be able to beat SG.

 

Nik Albert [FA]

 

 

http://www.falconsfc.org.za

 

Fantastic eleven

 

Melchester Rovers

 

Smoking Guns

 

Speedsters

 

Stannington Historical

SH Manager Lear put the SH lads through one of their hardest training weeks in recent memory. Lear told a packed press room  during their weekly press conference at the SH training grounds,"Our lads slacked off in their last match. There was no effort from anyone so they paid the price. Our goal is to win the D-3 title as soon as possible and we certainly mean it."

     "SH is having an outstanding season to-date, but the season isn't over. As you know, anything can happen. Our players have to realize this but they definitely didn't in our most recent match."

     "As SH is about to begin the home stretch part of the schedule, the SH roster is well rested with no injuries or suspensions. Things are in our favour currently to help us to achieve our goal. Now as long as we don't see a repeat of the fiasco in our most recent match."

 

Trav Spoodle

 

Vitesse Arnhem